


The Empire Strikes Who What Now?

by Icarus



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Cam's a good guy, Feel-good, Gen, John being John, Male Friendship, Secret Santa, Showing Off, Star Wars References, Swordplay, goofing off, mission downtime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21716815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus/pseuds/Icarus
Summary: John glinted at him like a bad kid in high school who dared you, and got you sent to the principal’s office for the first time in your life.
Relationships: Cameron Mitchell/John Sheppard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	The Empire Strikes Who What Now?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DorothyOz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DorothyOz/gifts).

> Beta read by the generous Sian, Esteefic, and Wyomingnot. There's a story behind this fic, specifically [To Stand Alone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5580655), which was written _instead of_ John/Cam.  
You see, DorothyOz requested John/Cam. I gave her Peter Grodin. I know, I know... but To Stand Alone was supposed to set up a world that then another SGA Santa writer was going to write the next part, and _then_ we'd have the John/Cam fic. But that was all too complicated and fell apart. Determined to fulfill her request (and keep my word) FOUR YEARS LATER, I've written DorothyOz a little John/Cam friendship. I hope that's what the doctor ordered. 
> 
> Merry Christmas,  
Icarus

The Empire Strikes Who What Now?  
by Icarus

Cam slammed down his light saber across John’s, heavy-handed, the glowing blue crossing red in hisses and pops. The room around them was an echoing dark warehouse filled with smoke, industrial pipes, and pounding mining equipment. 

John jumped back a step, then lunged, saber tip within an inch of Cam’s neck, a glowing red, humming heat. 

Cam bounded back, nearly stumbling off the platform. “Whoa!” He glanced up and around, but the dim slanting light showed no cover, just gaping openings for carbonite storage.

John paused and grinned – which gave Cam time to slash wildly at an overhead pipe, pouring steam in John’s way. 

Slicing through the steam, John circled around, while Cam tried another sledgehammer move. 

“Cam, it’s not an ax.” Their sabers joined in a series of popping sounds, light sparking, shattering. “I’m going easy on you,” John panted. 

“I don’t—” Cam swung at John’s head, the light sabers crackling as John blocked it from below. “—know—” He chopped to the other side, which John deflected in a splatter-pop. “—about that.” Cam heaved. 

John brought his saber down and around in a red circle, singeing Cam’s belt buckle and widening his eyes. 

“Draw?” John offered. Without waiting for an answer, he clicked off his light saber. The blade withdrew and vanished. 

“Not even close to a draw,” Cam admitted with a laugh. The good guys always told the truth in his opinion, one reason he’d picked the _blue_ light saber, thank you. He fumbled for the off-switch. 

“On the left, there… yeah,” John instructed. 

“You’re pretty good at this.” Cam didn’t ask the question. He just gave John a chiding look.

“Well… the fencing wii’s good practice,” John explained. 

Cam looked at him doubtfully, one eyebrow up. 

“And Teyla’s _bantos_ sticks use a lot of the same moves.”

Cam raised both eyebrows, head tilted, almost smiling. “Uh-huh.” 

“And, all right, about 27 hours with the light saber.”

Cam’s grin spread, shoulders relaxing in disbelief. 

“—but it’s a _military necessity_. You wouldn’t believe the medieval weapons I’ve had to contend with on missions. On M24-736—”

Cam opened both hands. “Hey, I’m no Caldwell. You don’t have to tell me. On P38-494—” he began. 

“—belt knives. In a duel for a woman’s honor, and I swear, she wasn’t that honorable,” John said, his voice cracking. “She tricked me!” 

Cam jumped in. “—this Goa’uld came at me with a _herket_,” He thumbed over his shoulder. “—and all I had was a Greek trident I pulled off a statue!” 

They paused, grinning at each other. 

“Crazy out here,” John said.

“Yup. You have to be crazy to work here,” Cam agreed, beaming, and John bobbed his head. 

Then John shut his eyes and disappeared. Cam blinked at the empty spot where John had been. A moment later, John reappeared, looking impatient, and said in a slightly sarcastic instructor’s voice, “You click your heels three times and wish your way out.” He folded his arms like the proverbial genie and disappeared again. 

Pegasus wasn’t Cam’s galaxy, but he was used to weird. Hesitating a moment, Cam folded his arms awkwardly over each other before John could come back again. He shut his eyes and nodded like he was in _I Dream of Jeannie_. 

And opened them to find himself staring up at curved plastic, lights blinking in the half light around him. Melted rock formations coated the walls and ran along the floor like wax on the outside of a bistro candle. Freaky. 

Next to him, John was sitting up, his tube door open, treating this as if it happened every day, which… as Cam sat up, he did a little math… twenty-seven hours, two weeks since they’d found the Aurora class cruiser… John had to have been in the dang virtual reality two-three hours a day, easy. The mission, of course, was to recover equipment and data from the ship buried in an extinct volcano. And how it got there was anyone’s guess, but Cam was willing to bet it wasn’t anyone’s first choice of location, location, location. 

Passing the door to their room, a scientist trudged by, hard at work trying to collect as much data as possible, which made Cam feel slightly sheepish. _‘Military necessity,’ my shiny hiney,_ as his Uncle Dane would’ve said. 

“You lasted a lot longer than McKay,” John said. 

Cam spluttered a laugh. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“…yes? He’s not bad,” which was John’s answer to everything McKay. Give him a chance. He’s not that bad. He got under Cam’s skin, is all. Of course, McKay was probably the one who set up the _Empire Strikes Back_ virtual reality in the first place, so there was that. 

“Tell you what,” John said, with a quick, naughty glance back at the VR machine. “Give you two out of three?” 

Oh, H. E. double hockey sticks. Cam’s guilt thrummed. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on the scientists doing science-y things they couldn’t explain without a lot of excitement and sweeping arms. But John glinted at him like a bad kid in high school who dared you, and got you sent to the principal’s office for the first time in your life. 

“You’re on,” Cam said. It was a boring mission anyway.


End file.
